Men and women alike have plenty of horror stories to tell about their very first kiss. By the time we reach the dating scene, though, we’re well past the initial awkwardness of two people’s lips touching, and the main worries are what her reaction will be and if it’s the right moment. Trust your gut. Be aware of her body language and analyze your own desires. Chances are, you’ll know exactly when to kiss her.
Now here’s how to do it.
1. Man Up
Boys shuffle their feet and avoid eye contact before darting in for a surprise kiss. Men look into a woman’s eyes, knows she wants him as much as he wants her, and takes that little risk to lean in and kiss her on the lips. Man up. Women don’t want a boy, too timid and unsure to get what he wants.
2. Watch her eyes
One of the telltale signs of a woman waiting to be kissed is if she is glancing from your eyes to your lips. The moment a woman realizes she wants to kiss a man, she becomes fascinated with his lips and entranced by his eyes. Her eyes will dart from each of your eyes to your lips and back again, in a triangular shape. Watch for the signs. You’ll know when.
3. Hold her hand
Kissing is a very intimate form of touch. To ease that first contact, make sure you have touched her hand or shoulder sometime before or during conversation or flirtation. If you haven’t touched her much yet, take her hand before looking up into her eyes. You don’t need to do anything special with that hand; just hold it softly, and then look her in the eye. You’ll be able to tell if she wants it.
4. Start with a cheek kiss
If cuddling and closeness has preceded the kissing moment, placing a kiss on her cheek or temple is a good way to ease into the more intimate mouth kiss. Because a kiss on the cheek is seen as a casual and adorable act, it will lighten the mood and help her relax, too. It’s a display of gentleness and will show her that you are into her specifically, not just into what might happen later on.
5. Whisper in her ear.
Like kissing her on the cheek, a quiet whisper in her ear will tell her in a gentle, romantic way that you want to kiss her more intimately. You don’t have to say anything particularly romantic during the whisper; in fact, you don’t actually have to say anything at all. Simple placing your mouth close to her ear and breathing softly will, if she’s into it, send shivers up her spine and make her want that kiss as much as you do.
The thing that stops most men from leaning in for that first taste of sweetness is the fear that once rejected, they will be forever in the doghouse. For most women, though, this isn’t how it works. If your lips land on a woman’s cheek the first time you lean in to kiss her, take it in stride. Read her reaction. Is she disgusted or just unsure for the moment? Often times, if she doesn’t excuse herself right then and there, she will be ready for your first kiss just a little while later. Stick around, continue being gentle and loving, listening attentively and accustoming her to being touched.
Remember, always, that a kiss, while just the first step in what will hopefully be a very exciting night, is a very intimate action. An evening of flirting and casual touching will help ease the transition to suddenly touching lips, but it will always be a little nerve wracking. Isn’t that what makes it thrilling in the first place? Ease your lady into being touched by you, make sure she knows you can and want to be gentle with her, and don’t get scared away if she’s not quite ready the first time you lean in.